My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
there is glitter all over my balls
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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