Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
