Banned from zoo.
Again?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
50% drunk capacity currently
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
