i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
