I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
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