weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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