I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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