My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
