just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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