my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
