you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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