Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
