Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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