i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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