Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
