Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
