he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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