I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Randomize