My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Found your dick twin last night
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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