Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
