We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
