I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
