Don't you send me to vm
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
