I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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