IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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