I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Randomize
