I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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