But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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