So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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