Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself