I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
This girl is more easily done than said...
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend