Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
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Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?