Texts From Last Night

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  (775): View more from Nevada

  For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.

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  (775): For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven. http://tfl.nu/fqjc
  Replies (38) Good night (1461) Bad night (6766)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.

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  (260): Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens. http://tfl.nu/pxin
  Replies (31) Good night (11713) Bad night (1371)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.

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  (713): I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now. http://tfl.nu/lp4s
  Replies (34) Good night (1957) Bad night (4494)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.

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  (973): random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question. http://tfl.nu/ra0q
  Replies (17) Good night (6400) Bad night (1324)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.

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  (603): I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning. http://tfl.nu/y7jt
  Replies (7) Good night (2326) Bad night (947)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?

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  (501): I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one? http://tfl.nu/9wky
  Replies (13) Good night (1370) Bad night (2043)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.

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  (651): I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen. http://tfl.nu/sts0
  Replies (0) Good night (678) Bad night (337)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.

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  (704): At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you. http://tfl.nu/lr4p
  Replies (0) Good night (717) Bad night (356)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.

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  (540): Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents. http://tfl.nu/vksy
  Replies (11) Good night (551) Bad night (959)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?

  (303): View more from Colorado

  That depends, how hot is your boss?

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  (720): Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am? (303): That depends, how hot is your boss? http://tfl.nu/3abd
  Replies (5) Good night (995) Bad night (418)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"

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  (314): i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis" http://tfl.nu/xf6m
  Replies (4) Good night (498) Bad night (379)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths

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  (734): I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths http://tfl.nu/fyxi
  Replies (3) Good night (665) Bad night (456)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was

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  (778): I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was http://tfl.nu/phyl
  Replies (3) Good night (550) Bad night (417)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park

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  (734): Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park http://tfl.nu/okfi
  Replies (0) Good night (376) Bad night (232)
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  (916): View more from California

  My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.

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  (916): My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one. http://tfl.nu/b014
  Replies (0) Good night (416) Bad night (208)

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