Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.