who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Randomize
