We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
