This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
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I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
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Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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