It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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