i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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