you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
