Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
