I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
