I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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