4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
