i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I have post one night stand depression
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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