Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
