I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
actually, I'm a sock model
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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