Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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