dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
