Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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