allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
