Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
