just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
