I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
