google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
