Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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