I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
