If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
