Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
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My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
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