thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
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the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
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My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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