State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
