im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
