break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
