The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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