btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
