NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
