Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
