Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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