And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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