singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
