Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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