my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Randomize